reality.

Last night a few things became painfully clear to me…literally.

Tim and I and my friend Erika went to see Citizen Cope at the Bottle & Cork, a local bar in Dewey Beach that has great music in the summer.

You see, in my hay day, I frequented live music venues…big and small, rap and folk, acoustic and rockin’. I loved it, and would jump at the opportunity to see a band I liked or was interested in. Whenever possible, I maneuvered my way into the first few rows and was accustomed to the pushing and shoving that accompanied such a great view of the action.

And then…I got older.

I quit drinking.

And I realized last night that the front row at a smoky bar is no longer the place for me. Aside from the drunken pushing and shoving and beer spilling, a couple of guys almost went at it right beside us, two ridiculously drunk girls in front of us thought we were doing the trust game where you fall backwards and trust that your friends will catch you (we weren’t their friends, but ended up catching them anyway), and I spent a good part of the evening with some girls purse shoved into my crotch.

Not my idea of a good time any more.

And I realized as we drove home, my back aching from holding a weird posture mixed between guarding my chest from swinging elbows and trying to hold my ground in our spot, that although I know I’m not quite the person I used to be, sometimes it’s painfully obvious to me now.

Last night was one of those nights.